Snapping out

Old schoolmates

2008-08-29T17:41:00.004+03:00

A while ago, I created a profile on Facebook. In the start, it was mostly for the fun; applications, tests, music, etc. I found some people, some people found me, and that was sweet. BUT, later old schoolmates starting sending out friend requests. Classmates I didn't speak to since 11 or 17 years old. People who didn't give a dime for me, and I didn't care at all about them. I know that they want to be my "friends" just because they are ignorant and arrogant victims of their vain curiosity (like most of the Greeks), but I don't think I'll ever get this idiosyncracy.

People who treated me bad now want to be called my friends. Can anyone give me any other reason than the one I stated above? I was in a private well-known school, and I was the black sheep, because I used to listen to metal music, I used to wear black clothes, and I used to dye my hair black (while I was a natural blonde). No need to mention, that I started the trend, and everyone started dying their hair black. But still, not many people would talk to me. I would talk to even less. I suffered from BPD, no one had a single idea what was going on in my life, but they'd criticize. And these people want to be my friends.

Come on, dudes... Get a life. I did great in my life, but I can't help but wondering... Do you have one?

2008-07-05T18:27:00.002+03:00

It's been a long time since I last wrote on here. No, I didn't forget my blog, I was just thinking. Thinking again and again about many things in my life; people, countries, studies, jobs, hobbies, ways of life.

I've been thinking about people changing. Some people change, some people will never change. We sometimes change without realizing it. It is just a natural sequence. We tend to become either better or worse, but we never remain the same. We are sinking in the sea of our ego and loneliness. We don't understand other people, we don't care about understanding them. We hide behind our masks, and let other people think they know us. But we don't even know ourselves.

I live in Athens, Greece for the last ten months. I haven't got used to it yet. I just hate it. I don't like Greek reality and I don't like most of the Greeks; they're too fake for me. Uff, enough with grumping atm!

It's summer now, I wish I was in Helsinki once again, but this year has been so different. I remember myself on 5th of July, one year ago. I was so so lost. I didn't know what I wanted, who I was. I could only feel hatred, and sorrow. Hmm, I still feel the same, perhaps for different reasons... but this doesn't really matter. Does it? In the end, how have I really changed? Do I REALLY know what I want from my life? Do I REALLY know which people I want in my life? I only know I'd rather live in Helsinki or Tampere, but it seems it's not in my power anymore.

Who knows what is gonna happen in the summer of 2009. I hope I won't still feel hatred for that Scottish bitch. I hope she will be really tortured and regret what she did to me.

Cheers,

EviLiNia.

Injustice in British Universities strikes again

2008-01-21T03:20:00.000+02:00

I was talking to a Greek friend of mine recently, and I found out that she experienced a similar experience to mine, when she went to London for postgraduate studies. I cannot name the University, as I am not the involved person, but honestly I wish the ethical corruption was lower in the UK. It is a pity.

Birthday on Christmas Eve

2007-12-24T00:20:00.000+02:00

It is my birthday, I turn 24. But I think I have this Christmass depression thingy.

I go back, thinking of those Stirling sub-humans who pretend to teach Public Relations, and I freak out again and again. I wish I was a millionaire, send ten lawyers and put all of them in jail. Especially that programme's director. She was the worst of all. I still wonder how you are supposed to teach Public Relations while you make discriminations among your students. I really doubt I will ever get over what she did to me. Some time, I will let everyone know what she is, because I can prove it. Some time, truth will shine, Jacquie L'Etang. Truth and justice will come.

It is extraordinary how people change when they get power in their hands. They destroy lives just for fun! Just because they are able to do it! The worst thing is that I realised quite early one things; if you are good at something, lots of people want to destroy you. I thought that this was mainly the "Greek way", but it is apparently the Scottish way, too. But they even killed William Wallace, so yep, the "Scottish way" is not less 'corrupted' than the Greek one. Memories come to my mind from the days I collaborated with Proz.com. This is a translators' networking site. For some months, I was in the top of the translators' hierarchy, as I had helped many translators to find their way within the labyrinth of their texts, and they started attacking me. They could not stand that a 23-year old girl can actually be much better than people decades older. It is a pity, but also the bitter truth. Since then, I decided to switch to a different career path.

I had given a deadline to myself. "Evi, you should decide what is your next step and what you want to do next year." The deadline is today; and I am happy for having found it, just one week ago. Of course, I will keep following my writing insticts, but I know very well what I want to do, now. This is something.

As I am one year older now, I am thinking through everything I passed since 24th of December of 2006. Lots of stuff; good, bad, happy memories, bitter words, a Scottish hospital where Adrian standed by me with all his means, trips to Finland, Norway, and Hungary, two new friends -Akis and Jukka-, an Internet friend -Anne, and mainly a new cynic self. I realised so much during this year. I admitted so much, and I decided I don't want to make a family!! However, there is a lot more in my heart and in my mind...

To the next 12 months!
Cheers.

Going back to Epirus!

2007-11-28T18:31:00.001+02:00

I'm so excited! Tomorrow morning, I am off to Igoumenitsa, where I spent 3.5 years, as a student! Kali, my best friend from college is coming with me!! It is my graduation ceremony! I have no idea why it is so late (I graduated a bit more than one year ago), but we are going to have fun, like good old days....

People chasing their dreams around the world

2007-11-23T01:59:00.000+02:00

Recently, I started thinking about the freedom each one has and if we take good advantage of it.

A few days ago, I exchanged a couple of emails with my ex flat-mate, a nice Finn girl. She told me she is going to move to Australia in 1st of January. Wow, this is a big decision for the first day of the new year!

Another girl I know from Norway is setting off to South America for three months...for holiday!

Last night, I talked to a Finn guy I met almost three years ago. He currently works in London, but he is moving around a lot.

Last May, I attended a translation conference, and I met freelance translators from numerous countries, and they all had a thing in common; traveling and living in different countries for long periods of time.

I would like to be able to live in Finland, but something holds me back. I like traveling around, but I want to have my "HOME" where I will be able to come back every time I need some stability or even whenever I run out of money! At the time, "HOME" is my mother's home, as I do not own a home myself.

I admire those who chase their dreams around the world. I would like to include myself in them, but I wonder... Do we travel, because we want to reach something or because we want to escape from something? I feel lonely often, and traveling makes me happy. Does everyone else feel the same?

I want to become a writer!

2007-11-05T04:48:00.000+02:00

This is a light post. I am going to write about my dream job!

Since I was a child, I have changed many times my "professional dreams". My favourite careers were various; translator, stock broker, physics researcher, actress, stylist, PR practitioner. They all need you to be accurate, and a tiny mistake may damage your reputation . I have always liked action, and this is why I travel a lot, I talk to hundreds of people, and exchange numerous ideas with men and women of all different ethnic backgrounds and ages.

I have been working as a freelance translator for the last months. It is something that I like for one more reason; I can travel everywhere I want and all I need is my laptop, an Internet connection, and my ATM card to collect the money I earn. But there is no evolution in being a translator.

I write since I remember myself writing. I was writing sketches, poems, even theatre scripts! I never showed them, because I was shy. As I grew up, I was writing articles in newspapers. I enjoyed it a lot. If you are a writer, you can evolve and challenge yourself becoming better every time. You can write about anything, and no one is going to call you an idealist or a liar, because you are free to write about any fantastic hero, place, and time.

I have written some stories which I would like to have published some time, but I don't have the appropriate connections, maybe because I do not know where to search for them! It would be lovely if I could be a writer, and not stick behind a desk at someone's office!

Finnish VS British educational system

2007-10-22T00:03:00.000+03:00

I can express an opinion about countries where I have lived, and I have lived in Greece, Finland, England, and Scotland by now.

I want to make a small analysis about the Finnish and the British educational systems regarding the postgraduate studies. Of course, this is my personal opinion following my personal experience, and I am not expecting from anyone to agree or disagree with me. I just want to inform about a couple subtle, but important differences.

In the UK, at least in the majority of the Institutions, they are not selective, ie if you can afford for your Master's degree (you have to pay for the Masters), you are welcome no matter what your background is. In the University where I went, they were supposed to have strict selective criteria. What I found out was that I was there with an excellent academic background, while another Greek had a very low GPA. There were people who had not even studied for a Bachelor degree, but they had some relevant working experience. Everyone who applies is accepted, and this is why in some classes there are more than 70 students attending a course.

In Finland, they are selective. You need to have a very relevant academic background, and the maximum number of students in a course is rather smaller. There is no tuition fee, and you have to deserve it in order to be accepted.

In the UK, you have to complete 180 ECTS (European Credit Transfer System) in order to get your Master. These credits represent the hours you have to attend the courses along with the hours you need to study for them. In the UK, most of the postgraduate programmes last 1 year (full-time).

In Finland, you have to complete 120 ECTS in order to get your Master. In Finland, most of the postgraduate programmes last 2 years (full-time).

After this, where would you choose to study? Good luck!

Depression, because of the University of Stirling

2007-10-17T11:30:00.000+03:00

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is characterised by emotional dyregulation and exteme 'black and white' thinking. I am thinking too much about the future, and I forget to live in the present. I am trying to get over it. I will start chasing my dreams again. The dreams that some people raped and killed. Some people who call themselves "educational staff" of Stirling University, in Scotland.

In September of 2006, I decided to continue my studies and go to Scotland for an MSc. In the start, I could not believe that they were so badly organised, but I showed patience. I had chosen that University, because I was interested in some modules which were not offered anymore without any notice. The Master's degree was a taught course, and there were three teachers teaching. Only one of them had a relevant PhD. The second had a relevant Master's degree and the third not even a Master's.

I was so deadly surprised when I found out that no one controls the Scottish Universities, and they can do everything they want. I was harassed by the educational staff, but the only chance I could bring justice was to pay a lawyer. I was in such a mess that I spent several days in the hospital at Stirling. I wanted to go back home, and I could not face the idea of spending another day in that land.

A few words about the programme: There were no exams, only homework. In case someone failed, they had no right to resit. They informed us about this, once we had enrolled and paid. I can also write about something that happened to me! I hope to make youl laugh! We had a module called Media Relations. The evaluation was upon four assignments (each counting 25%). I had C, B, B, B and guess what my overall grade was! It was a C! I was the only person who faced that. About half of the students had C, C, B, B and they had a B for their overall grade. They simply never accepted that a disabled person can have dreams, the desire to evolve, and mainly the guts and the abilities to progress. How can someone like those people educate you?

I dropped out the nightmare, and in March 2007. I decided I had to take my life in my hands. I started working as a freelance translator, and going out with my friends. Now, I have decided to finish my Master, but I don't know where. Either England or Finland. We'll see.

The Finnish paradise

2007-10-13T19:01:00.001+03:00

I spent my summer in Helsinki. What a lovely city for summer vacations. Coming from Athens, I really enjoyed the cool breeze, and the clean atmosphere. The temperature in Athens was around 42 degrees, while in Helsinki, it never went higher than 28. All Greece was burnt down by arsonists, but I could walk next to the trees and lakes, and fill myself with positive energy; something I really needed. I attended some Finnish language courses, but let's face the truth... Who enjoys studying during the summer? I passed the exams, but one month later, I have forgotten most of the grammar I learnt.

Why did I go to Finland? Because I absolutely adore this country! Finns can enjoy so much without even realising it. It is a very safe country, there is a welfare state with buses and trams arriving on time (at least, usually), and you know that if you have a friend, they will always be friend of yours. Where I come from, people are double-faced, and they may pretend to be your best friend, and say the worst behind your back. Well, fortunately, not everyone is like that, and I am happy, because nowadays I have some good and real friends.

When I first visited Finland, I was there with a scholarship, Erasmus/Socrates. I stayed there for five moths, and I can say it was an unforgettable experience. I lived in Tampere and I had my first multicultural experience. I discovered a country where metal music, Santa Clause, and dreams were alive! I was excited. I discovered a new educational and managerial system which simply left me speechless. I then felt that if ancient Greeks had not existed, no one would be aware of Greece. How magic and sad at the same time.

I did it, at last.

2007-10-11T20:42:00.000+03:00

After spending lots of hours in thinking, I decided to give a try to blogging. One month ago, I came back in Greece from Finland, and I decided that I need to share my thoughts and some information with other people. Mainly, I need to express myself; to shout about some illness, some unfair treatment, some secret desires and some lost dreams. Welcome, to my blog.