Birthday on Christmas Eve

It is my birthday, I turn 24. But I think I have this Christmass depression thingy.

I go back, thinking of those Stirling sub-humans who pretend to teach Public Relations, and I freak out again and again. I wish I was a millionaire, send ten lawyers and put all of them in jail. Especially that programme's director. She was the worst of all. I still wonder how you are supposed to teach Public Relations while you make discriminations among your students. I really doubt I will ever get over what she did to me. Some time, I will let everyone know what she is, because I can prove it. Some time, truth will shine, Jacquie L'Etang. Truth and justice will come.

It is extraordinary how people change when they get power in their hands. They destroy lives just for fun! Just because they are able to do it! The worst thing is that I realised quite early one things; if you are good at something, lots of people want to destroy you. I thought that this was mainly the "Greek way", but it is apparently the Scottish way, too. But they even killed William Wallace, so yep, the "Scottish way" is not less 'corrupted' than the Greek one. Memories come to my mind from the days I collaborated with Proz.com. This is a translators' networking site. For some months, I was in the top of the translators' hierarchy, as I had helped many translators to find their way within the labyrinth of their texts, and they started attacking me. They could not stand that a 23-year old girl can actually be much better than people decades older. It is a pity, but also the bitter truth. Since then, I decided to switch to a different career path.

I had given a deadline to myself. "Evi, you should decide what is your next step and what you want to do next year." The deadline is today; and I am happy for having found it, just one week ago. Of course, I will keep following my writing insticts, but I know very well what I want to do, now. This is something.

As I am one year older now, I am thinking through everything I passed since 24th of December of 2006. Lots of stuff; good, bad, happy memories, bitter words, a Scottish hospital where Adrian standed by me with all his means, trips to Finland, Norway, and Hungary, two new friends -Akis and Jukka-, an Internet friend -Anne, and mainly a new cynic self. I realised so much during this year. I admitted so much, and I decided I don't want to make a family!! However, there is a lot more in my heart and in my mind...

To the next 12 months!
Cheers.

Depression, because of the University of Stirling

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is characterised by emotional dyregulation and exteme 'black and white' thinking. I am thinking too much about the future, and I forget to live in the present. I am trying to get over it. I will start chasing my dreams again. The dreams that some people raped and killed. Some people who call themselves "educational staff" of Stirling University, in Scotland.

In September of 2006, I decided to continue my studies and go to Scotland for an MSc. In the start, I could not believe that they were so badly organised, but I showed patience. I had chosen that University, because I was interested in some modules which were not offered anymore without any notice. The Master's degree was a taught course, and there were three teachers teaching. Only one of them had a relevant PhD. The second had a relevant Master's degree and the third not even a Master's.

I was so deadly surprised when I found out that no one controls the Scottish Universities, and they can do everything they want. I was harassed by the educational staff, but the only chance I could bring justice was to pay a lawyer. I was in such a mess that I spent several days in the hospital at Stirling. I wanted to go back home, and I could not face the idea of spending another day in that land.

A few words about the programme: There were no exams, only homework. In case someone failed, they had no right to resit. They informed us about this, once we had enrolled and paid. I can also write about something that happened to me! I hope to make youl laugh! We had a module called Media Relations. The evaluation was upon four assignments (each counting 25%). I had C, B, B, B and guess what my overall grade was! It was a C! I was the only person who faced that. About half of the students had C, C, B, B and they had a B for their overall grade. They simply never accepted that a disabled person can have dreams, the desire to evolve, and mainly the guts and the abilities to progress. How can someone like those people educate you?

I dropped out the nightmare, and in March 2007. I decided I had to take my life in my hands. I started working as a freelance translator, and going out with my friends. Now, I have decided to finish my Master, but I don't know where. Either England or Finland. We'll see.